


Mother Knows Best

by completelyhopeless



Series: Coulson's pet 0-8-4 [14]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Phil's pet 0-8-4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 14:17:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3137420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Furball Bucky's mate on her children. And why humans are foolish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mother Knows Best

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shanachie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanachie/gifts).



> So I don't know that this was anything close to what Shanachie had in mind when she gave me a prompt of "furball Natasha didn't eat furball Hawkeye, she just bit him," but this is what I came up with.

* * *

These human pets of Bucky's have a saying: Mother knows best.

She does not argue with this. She knows much better than her children and even the silly humans. She likes them, as Bucky does, even after all H.Y.D.R.A. has done to her, but she knows the fundamental truth: humans are _very_ foolish creatures.

They do not spend enough time making spaghetti and they spend too much time trying to kill each other. She would not care if they did sometimes, except there are ones she likes a lot. She likes Phil because Bucky likes Phil.

She likes Melinda better, though she does not understand why anyone would call her “the Cavalry.”

They cannot seem to agree on what _she_ should be named, so she supposed that it was no surprise.

* * *

She is proud of her children, despite their many odd quirks. She blames the humans for these quirks—her family would have been quite normal if not for H.Y.D.R.A. and the exposure to Phil's friends.

She does not understand the eye patch, and she is not sure she wants her son thinking of himself as Fury. Nor does she quite approve of leather, but many of her children seem to like it.

She supposes it is better than spandex.

Especially if eaten.

* * *

She sends Natasha off to get her brother. She had been amused by the way the human reacted to Hawkeye being bit. That poor human looked so pathetic when he thought his namesake was dead and that her daughter had eaten him. Natasha has to go get him because while the biting is not unusual, baby Hawkeye is a fragile one and too sensitive to it. And the humans do not understand, so he must be found before they do something to her daughter for “eating” him.

Not that they could.

No one would touch Natasha.

Nor would they mess with her mother.

* * *

This is the mistake H.Y.D.R.A. has made.

The mistake too many make.

Humans have a saying about mother bears—or is it lions?—and their cubs and a saying about hell having no fury like a woman scorned.

They have never known the true danger of a mother “buckyball” when her children (and their pets) are threatened.

The storm is coming.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I officially decided the name of Bucky's mate because of this. Growing up with X-Men the Animated Series (as well as the Batman/Superman ones,) and going to the comics (and movies) later, I don't think there's anyone quite like Storm as far as mother figures/badass ladies with grace goes. So... She's Storm.
> 
> I think.


End file.
